A friend of mine, her son committed suicide, and the devastation it left behind was unbearable. The family will never be the same again and they will never know why he did it. people must get help before feeling that low. My sympathy to you and your family.

Thank you. And sorry to hear of your loss. Some people say it's selfish thing to do but they are so low and God bless them cause they must be so so low. But there is help out there.

Annie,

I'm so sorry to read of your loss.

All I can say is that I hope you and your family can come to some sort of peace over it.

As the ( regretful ) survivor of more than one suicide attempt, I am only too aware of the impact such an action can have on those left behind.

I can't speak for your brother - in - law's frame of mind when he took the step he chose to take, I am not him.

What I can tell you is that for myself, at least, the decision to take the step was very calm, very detached, much like another thing to do, not unlike making a cup of tea, or buying milk from the supermarket.

I do not believe my heart rate rose above normal as I carried out what I thought were the last actions of my life.

For the first time in a long time, I felt at peace, that I knew what to do and that it felt right.

I won't go into the details, because it isn't germane to what it is that I want to share with you.

Suffice to say that on that coming back to consciousness, I felt a deep despair at not having achieved my aim.

My next semi - conscious thought was to call my mother and father.

I should say at this point, I am 43 years old and these events happened twelve months ago.

My parents are retired.

After some time trying to call them - I was very disorientated and could not work out how to operate my 'phone - I managed to get through.

My father drove to my house and called an ambulance.

I was taken to hospital and admitted to A&E, subsequently to the mental health ward.

Surviving has been very difficult for me.

It has been even more difficult for my parents, friends and those who care for me.

I am not the person they had known and there are times when I doubt I ever will be again.

Both my parents have been treated for stress induced depression.

My father has visibly aged by ten years in the last year.

I still struggle against the urge to kill myself on a daily basis, but now I do not have the peaceful feeling I had before completely realising the impact my actions would have on others.

In addition to everything that went before, I now struggle with the guilt induced by the impact my actions have had, and will have in the future, on people I love very, very much.

So, what I'm trying to say is this;

Your brother - in - law, whatever his motive, or thoughts as he reached his decision, were reached because he felt he had no alternative, or because his state of mind prevented him from seeing that there were alternatives.

I do not know, because I am not him, what brought him to take the choice he did.

What I do know, is that whatever his thoughts were, when it comes to the point where the only option one can see is to self - terminate, then there is nothing that anyone can say, or do that will make any difference to that decision.

I'm truly sorry for your loss and for your pain.

But there was nothing you, or anyone else could have done.

Your brother - in - law didn't mean to hurt you or his family, I'm sure.

Whether or not it was actually right, he must have felt and understood in his being that what he was doing seemed right to him, at that time and place.

This is only my second post on these forums, and I'm not sure if I have actually managed to convey to you what it is that I meant to convey.

I hope you understood and that you and your family can find peace.

Hi I am very sorry for your loss and the devastation it has caused in your and your families lives. Its very easy to say seek help when you are so low but it is very difficult at that stage. I have tried to commit suicide several times and I didn't think of the people I would leave behind. When you get to that stage you don't. The only thing which would have stopped him then was to be forcibly stopped from suicide. He probably thought he was doing everyone a favour because thats how suicides thinks. I think his balance of mind was too disturbed to be rational and logical. But I am sure it has nothing to do with you or the rest of the family.

Bev x

Thank u all for all your lovely messages. My brother-in-law was 43 when he killed himself. It's so hard because he was in a forest police searching for him for 3hours while we were home with police pure agony heartstopping feeling he was found hanging and bring out of the forest dead with people he didn't no being nosey gathering to watch him being bring out in a body bag.. horrific experience for the whole family especially his wife kids and parents. We finally seen in royal hospital morgue were he looked perfect I miss him so much xx

my dad killed himself 28 years ago i have thought about it often as i suffer severe depression. i lost my mum and my little dog in december so i have deteriorated since then.